 To
be present at the birth of my son has forever changed my life.
In fact, not only was I present, but I caressed his head in
the warm birthing pool water, before he fully emerged from
his mother.
As amazing as that sounds, I find it does not fully express
the essence of my experience.
The closest word I know of comes from the East, a beautiful
word… Darshan.
To see. Veils removed, a new world opens before your very
eyes. Which is what occurred at almost half past two AM
on a Monday morning in July.
This experience got me thinking.
Women have been giving birth to babies for a (conservatively
estimated) 30,000 years. My great-grandmother, who is currently
103 years old, birthed her three daughters at home. My grandmother
and mother both had their children in hospitals. What I
noticed was that it has only been three generations that
humanity has been ‘swayed’ into believing that
women must ‘be in a hospital’ to have a baby.
Nonsense.
I was told recently that one hospital’s approach
was, “You don’t have to be a martyr. You don’t
have to have this pain.” Yet they never mention what
you are losing as they give you something to ‘help
you through it.’ Of course much depends on the woman.
Watching my wife in labour, not once did she look like
she was martyring herself. In fact, just the opposite. She
was liberating herself from the unconscious conditioning
of our society. Of course it was painful, but there was
no suffering. Yes, there was ache, but there was no agony.
Like a flower blooming, I watched her surrender, to become
a form of nature. She freed herself.
When my baby emerged not more than two inches below the
water, it was not a clinical process, it was a spiritual
experience. To know that as I washed his little head with
warm water, as he was slowly emerging, that this would be
the first touch he would receive.
It was lifechanging for all of us. It became clear to me
that what we are given is a gift, we are a miracle and a
delight. To be in the presence of one becoming two has forever
changed my world.
It gave me the opportunity to see what was before hidden
from my view. That birth is a natural process, best kept
for the comfort and peace of the home. This is not a hospital's
terrain.
It is the ground of womanhood. |
I
welcome little Darshan Jordan to our family. He is such
an angel baby. 
Devon
is wonderful with Darshan. 
I
am so much more relaxed too, as I already am a Mum so I
know what to do, and I celebrate everyday this little family
that we have here and our life in Western Australia. 
Darshan
loves going to sleep in Mummy's or Daddy's arms. He loves
taking baths and really stretches his little body out in the
warm water in the comfort and safety of his Dad's arms.
Devon
sleeps all through the night and morning time is sometimes
leisurely if Darshan is awake too. 
I
just LOVE being the mother and guardian of two delightful
little boys.
Watch
a video. 30 seconds of my second day...
It started at 9am with a contraction of about 25 seconds
long. 
By
9pm she was starting to talk, walk around, then moan for
a minute and a half. 
The
birthing pool had dozens of children's names drawn, carved,
and etched into the side of it. I borrowed Nis's woodburner
and set down to express my gratitude...
Devon
is a wonderful big brother. Full of energy, and enthusiasm,
his love for his new brother is clearly evident. Darshan
now gets more kisses than mummy before bedtime. And once
awake, he scampers immediately across the bed to see our
new arrival. 
Devon
has begun using the 'k' sound consciously. We notice it
in almost every sentence. A week or two ago I heard him
make the 'g' sound while exercising his mouth during gibberish.
I realised that he now had control over the back of his
tongue, where it presses against the palette. Within an
hour, his 'g's were transformed. Clear and precise.