This year I found it (mentally and emotionally) stressful getting on an airplane to America.

No, not for fear of 'terrorism.' I know that basically people are peaceful.

As adventurous as the four weeks were set to be, the part I found most challenging was the fact that I WAS an American.

A week before setting off I came across a "Proud to be an American" t-shirt. I thought I would wear it always. However, this time, I looked at it and was sad.

Nope, can't wear this yet, and I put it back in a drawer full of shirts.

I used to be proud to be an American. I remember singing 'Born, in the USA' at the top of my voice on New Year's Eve!! I've been a boy scout, in the parades, waving an American flag. But that was then, years ago.

Now, George Bush is (still) in office, funneling billions of dollars into the war engine combating 'terrorism' while business partners make huge profits supplying the necessaries. We (he) took over the country of Iraq on a pretense ('weapons of mass destruction') which basically meant thousands of lives lost, millions of lives forever traumatized (not just over in Iraq). And, now the US only has ANOTHER group of people angry at them. [And, if George W. is so interested in combating terrorism, why not focus on Northern Ireland where terrorism has been happening for several decades? Or is that too close to people's hearts?]

Corporations are capitalising on every inch of physical and personal space; Healthcare costs a fortune - forcing the young workforce to get a job with good healthcare or risking massive future healthcare debt.

The media is not balanced - there is so much fear, cynicism, greed, jealousy, doubt & worry prevalent. Any sales person knows that there are two ways to sell. 'Gain' or 'Fear of Loss'. There is a lot of 'fear' on American television, and in the newspapers. This is where the fear is sown.

I came across this article on the Perdue University's website about fear...

Fear of the "other".

Fear of crime and fear of terrorism are two kinds of fears of the "other." There are some groups that try to make people afraid. The media and political groups will often build on people's fears to reach their own goals.

• Be careful about your use of the media.  TV news reports many negative events. Some media make the world look more dangerous than it is.
• Because unfamiliar things are the scariest, try to get to know more about different people, places, and countries. Find things that you have in common.  Find familiar parts of the situation or person.  
• The goal of terrorism is to make people afraid.  The best way to fight terrorism is to reduce public fear. It is important to put the risks of terrorism, crime, and attacks in perspective.
• Take actions to protect yourself, but think about them carefully.  Will the protective actions just make you more afraid?  Will they keep you from doing other important things?  Balance the protective actions with the likelihood of the danger.
• Spend the most time on the things that are most likely and most important in your life.

What else?

Advertisements for medications are everywhere. Advertisements for medications??? Seems like capitalised personal well being to me.

The Weather is NOT it's usual self. The Bush administration has even loosened pollution controls - surely we don't doubt the impact of pollution on global warming - just look outside! We are all floating on one small planet in space which happens to have a nice, balanced eco-system, yet the pollution continues.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Take a deep breath.

All this, and I hadn't even gotten to the United States!

Yet I got onboard and came anyway. After all, Tom and Amanda were getting MARRIED!!!!

That I was excited about!!

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I sit here in my parents kitchen in the USA, the sun has finally arrived, the trees are blossoming, rabbits, squirrels & birds chirping... beautiful.

Tom and Amanda are married! I feel blessed to have a new sister and family in New York! The wedding was beautiful, everybody was there, it was spectacular. (see more of the wedding here)

I see the people around me, my family, my friends new and old, and I am proud. Very proud. These people are wonderful. They are loving, kind, fun, generous, supportive, daring and caring.

The surroundings are beautiful, the houses divine, the people friendly - yet the society, America, does not reflect the goodness and love of these people.

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From the outside the US is seen as a bully nation. We're seen as egoistic (not thinking of others), unhealthy (fat from fast-food capitalisation), tied to corporations and the media, afraid to travel, and have a leader who continues to instill fear under the pretense of protection (nonsense).

I hope that someday the sense of the people will prevail. That the love and joy I see here amongst these people will filter through the society and shift the collective political & capitalist systems to full consciousness.

After reading this, my wife handed me a book where I read the Zen master Osho say;